What would you call this?

March 16, 2012 at 12:55 PM | Posted in Adventures in S-Land, We Have a Bear on our State Quarter | 2 Comments

Flying David

Here is my husband flying around.  The question for you is, what is he flying?

See, I can tell where you are from based on your identification of the machine in the photo.  If you refer to it as a “snow mobile,” it means that you are from what we in Alaska call “The Lower 48” or “Outside.”    If you would say that is a “sled,” you are probably from the Pacific Northwest or maybe Alaska, but probably from one of the communities on the fancy road system, like Anchorage.  If it’s a “snow machine,” you’re from Alaska in general.  If you call the thing a “snow-go,” well, now I know that we probably know some of the same people because you are from rural Alaska.  From the village.  Keeping it vill!

Despite my rural upbringing, I am not a fan of ripping around on a snow-go.  It’s cold and noisy and smelly and you have to wear this huge helmet that makes you look like a gigantic gear shift.  And there are hidden bumps in the snow that send you crashing around and my idea of fun isn’t dragging a 1000 pound machine out from wherever I got stuck most recently.   And a lot of times, someone shoots a caribou and then you have to drag that thing home which means keeping track of the sled you’re pulling along with trying to watch for spots where you may fall into an unfrozen swamp.  My husband, on the other hand, is a snow-go fanatic.  Except that he would say “sled” because his family is from Wasilla, a community on the road system.

When we were dating, I agreed to go riding with that guy because it’s important to support each other’s activities and all that.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  I have never been so scared in my life.  Did you know that it’s possible to do a jump like the one above with TWO people on the machine even if one is using all her molecules to try and remain on blessed Earth?  Add a  gigantic gear shift-head behind the guy in the photo.  If you really want to add authenticity, pour a smoothie down your back and stick your gear shift-head in a fan.  You have to imagine the screeching since the helmet holds it all in.  But it was there, make no mistake.  Banshees have nothing on me.

Now, it’s not that I’ll never go riding again.  However, we have reached the mutual understanding that should David feel the need to jump over the moon, he needs to be prepared to either let me sit it out or to be extremely nice for the next few days while I am undergoing therapy and compulsively eating cheesecake.  It’s important to support each other’s activities and all that.

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  1. Why not get Mr Fixit (husband version) to get you a new iPod? He will then obtain an iPaid. If you go with him you can treat yourself to a new pair of jogging shoes from Apple, called the iRan (self-ambulation twin modules). And you’ll need somewhere to store your gear, so buy an iRack for the iRan (SATM) and iPod. Hubbie will pick up another iPaid, with points redeemable from iWife. And it might pay to get rid of the blanket in the photo: it’s an iSore.

  2. […]  And they left a few things behind when they went home to Bethel, Alaska.  Now, if I were The Guy Who Can Fix Everything or totally bonkers and if it were winter, I could drive there on a snow-go (snow mobile for you […]


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