Slightly More than Nothing

October 16, 2011 at 12:49 PM | Posted in Adventures in S-Land, Intentions | Leave a comment

Know what I want to do today?  Nothing.  Guess what I’ve accomplished so far?  Nothing slightly more than nothing:

I’ve got the bear meat that I corned this week cooking in my trusty 1972 Crock-Pot.  This is actually my first experience with bear meat, corned or otherwise, since we never ate bear in my family.  This is because bears in my hometown eat a lot of often-rotten fish and the occasional buffet de la garbagio.  You are what you eat, even if you are a bear.  But the guy who can fix anything comes from an area where bears eat berries and plants, therefore, his family eats bears.  So now, I will eat bears too.

I fed Levi the Dog and Artemis the Cat.  This doesn’t really count as something, but it’s technically more than nothing.  Plus, if you ever want to feel like a superhero, find a dog and feed it.  Their standards of heroics are low, low, low, but their enthusiastic responses are off the charts.  Levi the Dog is currently composing an ode to my greatness:

I have read the news.  If you haven’t experienced the news today, I will sum it up for you: things happened and people did stuff.  I’m not sure why CNN hasn’t offered me a cushy desk job yet.

I caught up on my Old Farmer’s Almanac daily calendar.  I was two weeks behind.  See, I teach seventh grade, cook 90% of the meals we eat from scratch, write book reviews, and sort of run a jewelry business when I have a spare moment, so my days sometimes don’t allow for things like reading non-essential calendar pages.  Or sleeping.  Or moving at less than a sprint.  This is why I wish to do nothing on weekends.  Today’s calendar page inquires if I know which person was not a child of Erik the Red:

A.  Freydis

B.  Olafur

C.  Thorstein

D.  Thorvald

Answer: B.  

Finally, I spilled tea all over the desk which was covered with papers that I am supposed to be grading.  Awesome.  I will tell my students that I antiqued their writing in order to add character to the pages.   I’m crafty like that.

What needs to happen today is some letter-writing on real paper as a personal effort to aid the ailing U.S. Postal Service, decluttering the kitchen table since it has somehow become the junk mail center of the universe,  going to church in clothing other than my pajamas, filling the three necklace orders that came in this week, and walking Levi the Dog so that I might achieve sainthood in the Kingdom of German shepherd-huskies.

Ready, set, go.



September 3, 2009 at 10:12 PM | Posted in Another Day Another Dollar, Intentions | Leave a comment

To the parents and students of __________ Middle School: I’m sorry that you are being served by a school district that sees no problem in slamming 35 kids together in one classroom.  I’m sorry that, as a mere mortal teacher, I have no control over scheduling and, therefore, no way to fix it.  But I know it’s wrong, and I’m advocating for you and totally annoying the administrative building in the process because they know it’s wrong too.

To my students: I’m sorry that your schedules have changed a minimum of three times.  I know how important it is for you to adopt a routine and feel comfortable.  Believe me when I say that I am convinced that your school district has lost sight of what is important: you.  Your district is too busy creating administrative positions to care about your interests and your need for space to learn and grow and try stuff.  I have no control over what the district does, but please know that I’m making all sorts of protests on your behalf.  And I’m not giving up because what’s being done to you is not okay.  And this isn’t over.  And you do matter. 

I know that most of you won’t read this, but I had to put it out there so that I’m reminded of why I’m getting up every day and slamming my head into rows of cement trucks parked end to end.  Because that is really starting to hurt.

Anything not tied down…

June 23, 2009 at 10:10 PM | Posted in Adventures in S-Land, Intentions | Leave a comment
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We’re undergoing a massive purge here at Chateau Stephanie.  It started with a simple bookcase dusting, and now has spread to an every room in the house attack plan.  This is what happens when I don’t have a job (which is glorious, by the way).

When I first moved into this house, I had a cat, a cell phone, two houseplants, two bookshelves with my college books, a bed, table, and clothes.  That was it.  The grand sum of my domestic assets which wasn’t bad, but not enough to furnish a house.   I have more assets now.   As people I knew moved and redecorated, I ended up with a houseful of their castoffs (for which I am truly grateful).   And I did a little time at my local Value Village and Salvation Army thrift stores (I’m most thankful for those establishments).

However, gratuity is not a good reason to hang onto six bookcases.  Nor is it a good reason to keep clothes I’m not wearing, books I’m not reading, and pictures that I’m not looking at.  So, the war is on.

Currently, I’m purging my office.  I love having an office.  It makes me sound important.  Office.  As if I do big brainy things in there like draft novels and revise doctorates instead of shopping on eBay and wrapping presents.  And here’s the office problem: my brother’s castoff computer desk.  The thing weighs as much as The Black Thing, even without a full tank of gas.  And it has that hole where a computer monitor is supposed to go which would be fabulous if I had a computer with a monitor.  What the heck do you do with a desk that has a monitor hole? 

I know what I do with it.  Disassemble and send to the Salvation Army.  Woo-hoo! 

Soon, I will have breathing room.  Soon, Precious, soon.

On the Rebound

January 4, 2009 at 8:54 PM | Posted in Intentions | 1 Comment
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I’m a Journalspace refugee starting over here on WordPress.  For those who don’t know, Journalspace was another blog site (blogsite?) that recently blew up and died–possibly because some slimehead sabotaged the drives holding the Journalspace universe.  Note to slimehead: if I find you, you will get a stern, English-teacher lecture on wise life choices.  Then I will cheerfully bash your face in. 

WordPress–what will I do with thee?  I will re-post some of my old JS content.  I will whine about work.  I will commemorate great people in my life.  I will talk about moose and fish.  I will observe funny things.  I will ask late-night questions.  I will reveal the latest stupid things I’ve done, and I will make wishes. 

And I will always, always back up my work to a hard-drive.  And a flashdrive.  And some CD-ROMs.

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