Of Pop-Tarts and Coaching and Healthy Stuff from Dillingham

September 13, 2009 at 12:48 PM | Posted in Adventures in S-Land, Run Run Run, Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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It’s raining cats and dogs and every other animal out there.  On one hand, this is good.  It justifies my desire to curl up with a book and blanket and read, read, nap, read the day away.  On the other hand, I really need to get a good run in.  See, here’s the thing about coaching season: it’s the time of my life that I am in the worst shape.  Reasons why:

1.  I am mega-stressed out since I have no time to do anything, so I eat everything.  EVERYTHING.  Especially carby things that come in blue boxes that say Pop-Tarts on them. 

2.  The kids are, largely, not good runners.  There are definite exceptions, and I love those talented exceptions, but most of the kids haven’t run since last season.  This means that there is no way they could do my usual five-mile run.  This means that I can’t do my usual five-mile run.  No, there is not time after practice to do it.  That’s for grading papers and planning lessons.  No, there is not time before work to do it.  That’s for grading papers and planning lessons.

3.  Pop-Tarts come in many varieties, and I must try them all.  Coaching season comes but once a year.

Three more weeks of coaching/falling behind on my own workout goals.  Blah.  Just wait, little iPod and Nike Shoe Kit Thingy.  We’ll be together again soon.

However, health looms on the horizon!  My mom was recently in town which means she brought some of her garden with her!  My mom’s garden is really more of a plantation except without slaves or corsets, so when she brings garden stuff, it’s in Costco-proportions.  My fridge overfloweth with collard greens, kale, swiss chard, lettuce, lettuce, and lettuce, and potatoes.  Yum.  I will eat it all.  And she brought huckleberries picked by my dad.  And she also brought Silke bread–bread baked by her friend Silke who is from Germany and makes the heaviest, wheatiest, wholesome-est bread on the planet.  I love that stuff, toasted with a little honey or cheese and tomato slices.  I suspect it has enough fiber in one slice for the whole day, but I’ve never managed to eat just one.  In fact, I have to go right now.  The toaster is calling.  And this is how good Silke bread is…I prefer it to Pop-Tarts.  Even the cherry frosted ones.

Yes, I have so much lettuce that I baked it into bread.

Yes, I have so much lettuce that I baked it into bread.

Lettuce Bread

1 c. whole wheat flour
1/4 c. oatmeal
1/4 c. flaxmeal
2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
1/8 t. ginger
1/8 t. mace or nutmeg
1/8 t. cinnamon
1/8 t. cardamom or allspice
1/8 t. cloves
1/2 to 3/4 c. sugar (1/2 c. is plenty sweet for me)

1/4 c. applesauce
1/4 c. oil
2 eggs
1/2 t. vanilla
1 T. fresh lemon zest

1 c. lettuce, finely chopped (I do it with a knife even though you’re not supposed to cut lettuce with a knife, and it’s always fine)
1/2 c. toasted and chopped nuts (I put them on top since I am busy and don’t want to toast them separately)

Mix all the dry stuff together (flour through sugar).  In a separate bowl, mix the wet stuff and lemon zest (applesauce through lemon zest).  Combine the two mixes and stir a little bit.  Then, add lettuce and toasted nuts (I just throw the nuts on top of the finished batter in the pan so that they toast while baking).  The batter will be stiff.  Smooth the top for more even baking.  Put in greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 50-55 minutes.  Let cool in the pan on a rack for ten minutes.  Remove from pan and continue cooling on rack. Spread soft cream cheese on a slice, and give it to a friend.  Munch down the rest.



June 16, 2009 at 11:08 PM | Posted in Adventures in S-Land | Leave a comment
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The summer of crawly things continues. 

Carpenter ants!  Carpenter ants colonizing my flowerbed and thinking of putting up a cineplex in my house walls.  It’s great.

The ants have been living in railroad ties that the builders of my house thought would be a great idea to bury in the ground for me to dig up today.  If I had any thoughts of committing crimes (which I didn’t/don’t, Mom), they’re definitely gone now because what if I ended up in a prison with workcrews?  This could be my life. 

However,  there are several bright spots in all this.  One, I haven’t found ants near or in my house.  This is a miracle blessing straight from God for which I am most grateful.  Two, the ants aren’t Pharoah ants which, in all my reading about ants (because I approach all problems the nerdy library way), sound like a plague out of ancient Egypt that should get its own series of horror movies.  Three, I am getting totally ripped arms from all this digging.  Body by carpenter ants.

You may hear some hysterical screeching from the North.

May 23, 2009 at 12:10 AM | Posted in Adventures in S-Land | Leave a comment
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Tomorrow, I am releasing 1500 ladybugs into my garden. 

I love ladybugs journeying picturesquely on a leaf.  I appreciate that they eat aphids and plant mites and other icky things.  I know it is good to avoid using pesticides when possible.  I’m down with all of that.  The problem here is that I can’t figure out how I am going to open a container that is craaaaawling with ladybugs which are, after all, BUGS. 

I’m not so good with bugs.

I have this horrific vision of opening the ladybug jail and having all the ladybugs come out in search of a hug for their emancipator.  Like, I’ll be standing there, frozen, covered in red beetles.  This is the making of a horror movie. 

The best plan of action here seems to be to open the ladybug jail, and then run in the opposite direction.  Maybe I’ll take a leaf from the book of bank robbing and have the car running with the door ajar.  Ladybugs can’t catch The Black Thing, can they? 

This is where you all call me a chicken wuss and I pretend not to hear you.

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